I found healing through Boudoir.

As a photographer myself, I've always had an interest in shooting boudoir. I never thought that I would want to be the one in front of the camera though! When Joel first expressed interest in shooting Boudoir, I was unsure. Being his wife, I knew that he would want to practice on me, and that terrified me. I hated being in front of the camera, I had gained some weight from the medication I was on, and I was still struggling with severe postpartum depression and anxiety that was exacerbated by a toxic friendship. By the end of that friendship, I had felt completely destroyed. I didn't feel like myself, I didn't look like myself, and the last thing I wanted was to be photographed in that state. I wanted to help Joel though, so I took a deep breath and pushed myself out of my comfort zone....and I am so glad that I did!

Being photographed like that showed me that I was still me. It showed me the confidence that I thought had taken from me. It showed me the strength that I didn't know I had. It showed me that those 20 extra pounds didn't matter, that I wasn't any less beautiful for having gained weight. It showed me that I was a person outside of motherhood, that I was still capable of being sexy. It showed me that there was a side of me that I didn't know existed. It made me feel powerful.

I feel like every time I do a session, the more I heal from the pain and trauma from the last few years. I gain more and more confidence every time I get in front of the camera. I used to be the person to hide from the camera, even when it came to being in photos with my children. I no longer hide, because I have seen myself in the most vulnerable of states, and I have gained so much from it.

When I look back now on all of the sessions that I have done, I am reminded of how far I have come mentally, physically and emotionally. I am changed for the better, because of Boudoir.